That's right... Austin City Limits Festival time!! Thanks to my good friend Amy who could not go she has passed the savings on to me...

My bad...

Wow it's been awhile since I have really posted something here. A lot going on.. The event in Dallas is in its crticial stage, final design decisions, and then I disappear to there for a month.

In other news... ACL (Austin City Limits Festival for those not in the know..) is this weekend. I can't wait. BoDeans, Willie, Petty, Gnarls Barkley... The list goes on. Check it out if you want!

I was seeing someone until recently. Awesome girl. Not like anyone I have ever known before. But it seems that with so much going on for both of us it caused more turmoil than it was worth. Who knows what will happen next...

I do have a new love of sorts. We met a few times over the past year... Always thought about what it would be like if we were together. And one day... I made the decision. I am talking about my Nintendo DS. And Mario Kart. Addicted. If you love or loved Nintendo as a kid you will love this too. Mario rocks on it. Brain Age makes me feel stupid. But I love my DS.

I am going to keep up on the blog. Back to daily posts. Especially when I am in Dallas. And during ACL fest. I plan on taking tons of pictures!

More later....

Late night adventures... Nothing like Taco Cabana after a night out. Diana was really excited about the thought of queso!

I was going through my pictures and I thought this was fitting. The light at the end of my tunnel. Ha.

Anyone have a breath mint???

We all make mistakes in our lives. Yes, this is me typing this and yes, I do make mistakes. Plenty. I wish right now I had an internal censor that would prevent me from putting my foot in my mouth. It seems to be a brilliant talent of recent.

I really need to stop not just burning bridges, but also stop burning the cities they are attached to.

Time to rebuild once again. This time I will have to start from scratch as there will be no second (or 23rd in this case) chance.

I went to the JFK Museum in Dallas. There is the grassy knoll where it all happened. The car is over the X that is in the road where the first shot hit. It was prety intense being there.. A place I have always wanted to see.

How does one spend $100 on a $25 ticket? He finds out about the show a day before it happens. Glad I went. Sang my favorites... Had too much 8.75 a cup beer. Good times!

My rooftop view!

First night in Dallas... Dos XX party.. Free beer? Yep.. And dancing...

10 stories up in Dallas... What a view..

Off to Dallas...

I am off to the big D again. Busy two weeks ahead of me. I am kinda disappointed about the timing. I really wanted to be part of the Sunshine Kids Summer again.

But, a lot of work to be done this week. Doing some of it whilst wi-fi'in at Gate 9 at the airport right now. I am going to be out like a light on the plane. But, a lot to do today. Meeting after landing, then off to the gallery to see all the fantastic pieces.

I would like to do some shout-outs right now. First to Diana for being amazing and also for taking care of two of my most valuable possesions. Second to Michelle for making an amazing binder for the art judging. (check out what I am doing in the big D at www.redbullartofthecan.com )

Funny how every time I go into Dallas I have flight issues. I am first at the counter today, but it took nearly 45 minutes to check in. Why? I had a corrupt reservation. What the hell is that anyway? Did my reservation go off and hold up a convience store? Did it work for ENRON?

Well, I am a B on a Southwest flight. Not a bad thing. I have my bag right up front. Gotta get the window on the wing!

I will update often this week. Stay tuned for my adventures!

I must have hit my head...

Sometimes things fall into place for us. Mostly I believe we put it in place for ourselves. Other times we try our hardest to make the square peg fit in the round hole.

I think I am going to buy one of those puzzles and put it on the wall in my apartment to remind myself of this.

In other news.. Thanks to everyone who made my 7th annual 30th birthday special. I really appreciate it!

Also, things in event world are going well. I will be leaving for Dallas soon for a couple weeks. http://www.redbullartofthecan.com Check it out.

A quick note in the rain...

Dallas was accomplished. Finally arrived. Three days of meetings. I made it home and have had zero time with every moment spoken for until 5pm on July 4th. (Really, every moment is spoken for until the end of the month, but I am taking a few hours then for my sanity) My birthday is next Monday, July 10th, and I am not sure if I will celebrate or not. I will have to see the goings on around town... I love this rain. I love this big patio umbrella I am under while typing this even more. I better get in before my beloved tablet goes kaput.

Well, it is to blurry to see, but the sign says boarding but we are actually still waiting. Yep, it is 12:20 alright. We finally get on and take off by 12:50. FInally arrived Dallas at 1:45pm. 3 hours later than we were supposed to. For a 45 min flight.

So I get booked on the next flight out. AND THEY TELL ME THEY DON'T HAVE A PILOT YET!!! So as you can see, I am a bit confused, angry, and delayed.

So this is what I arrived to at Austin Bergstrom Airport. It was not what I wanted to see for getting up at 7am.

On the road again...

I am off to the Big D. Dallas that is for some meetings pertaining to an event this fall. I get to meet one of the best in the event planning business this weekend. Should be interesting. Will post more soon about my trip and thoughts. Oh, and I will need a cold Lonestar when I land on Wednesday night.

And summer is here...

I love this time of year. BBQ's, tubing, pool days, and margaritas at a lakeside bar. This summer should be a busy one. I may be out of town for a good portion of it working on an event. Good for me, yet, I was looking forward to a lazy summer. Ran into some people I have not seen in awhile. Good to see some, awkward to see others, but good to see all none the less.

I hope the Dallas Mavericks win at home. It was a heartbreaker to see the loss last night. Two more games left. I really hope they pull it off.

We meet again...

I was out with some friends and I hear a familiar voice. I turn around and standing next to me is Zoe Bell. (stunt woman for Uma Thurmin in both Kill Bill movies) We had met during SXSW 04 when I had taken her and her friends out and took them out to some of the music festival. (I had to do it on the sly as SXSW, even though they showed a movie about her, did not want her to go to the music festival without having to pay for a badge)

It was kind of funny that I had written about her that afternoon and to run into her in Austin (she is usually in New Zealand or LA..) was really unexpected. She is shooting two films here, one in her normal role as stunt woman, and the other as a lead.

Small world. If you happen to run into her in Austin, she will definately have fun stories to tell.

We meet again...

I was out with some friends and I hear a familiar voice. I turn around and standing next to me is Zoe Bell. (stunt woman for Uma Thurmin in both Kill Bill movies) We had met during SXSW 04 when I had taken her and her friends out and took them out to some of the music festival. (I had to do it on the sly as SXSW, even though they showed a movie about her, did not want her to go to the music festival without having to pay for a badge)

It was kind of funny that I had written about her that afternoon and to run into her in Austin (she is usually in New Zealand or LA..) was really unexpected. She is shooting two films here, one in her normal role as stunt woman, and the other as a lead.

Small world. If you happen to run into her in Austin, she will definately have fun stories to tell.

10 years in Austin...

Tomorrow, June 1^st, is the first day I lived in Austin starting in 1996. My life has taken many directions over this time period but living in Austin has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Here are some of the highlights….

1996

Moved to Austin

First job was Houston’s Restaurant

Britt (girl I was dating in Houston) and I tried doing the long distance thing. It didn’t last.

Got a pager. (why I got one I have no idea)

I worked at Trianon Coffee house for extra cash.

Fell in love with Lake Travis and the “on the boat weekend”.

I finally got a dog. Maggie. Part Sheppard, part Jack Russell Terrier.

Met neighbor Marc Brown (who I am still friends with today)

Also fell in love with Liberty Lunch (best music venue Austin has had to date), La La’s, Crown and Anchor,

1997

Volunteered for SXSW for the first time.

Heather, a coworker at Trianon, became my roommate.

Went to Las Vegas for the first time.

Visited friends in Minneapolis for a “friends’ reunion”.

Discovered the “internet” via AOL.

Became a crew chief for SXSW.

Dated a girl named Maggie (which made it very hard with a dog named Maggie. No joke, I said “Sit Maggie” once and they both did..)

Karaoke at the Common Interest… What were we thinking???

1998

Heather out as roommate. Angela (old roommate from Minneapolis) in.

Broke both my arms in cycling accident. Had surgery.

I got my first cell phone. (PrimeCo)

Was a crew chief for SXSW again…

Had my first “internet stalker”. (What can I say.. the girl was in love with my digital self)

Y2K was the buzz….(everyone thought all computers would crash a year later when it turned 2000)

Wondered who the hell this “Will Ferrell” guy was and why everyone thought I looked like him.

1999

Left Houston’s Restaurant. Worked at Serrano’s Restaurant until I found a ‘real job’ at AT&T Wireless.

SXSW again. Met “The Three Bears”

Had an amazing 30^th birthday celebration. (and met a wonderful girl Ella)

Angela went back to Minneapolis and I went roommate free. (only way to live!)

Met Amy (longest relationship to date..)

The Millennium New Year’s Celebration. We all survived.

2000

I got my first Palm Pilot (important as items to do with that purchase changed my life in many ways, including a trip to Maui a year later)

Work became my life for the first time ever.

SXSW again.

Red Bull. Oh how this relationship has grown…

Purchased my first ‘real’ computer.

Discovered ‘craps’ in Lake Charles.

Negotiated a killer car purchase. (Those that know me know why..)

Waited in the rain for Bush to concede Gore’s Victory. Unfortunately that was not the case. And it took months to find out.

Amy and I ended things. Badly. (took years, but her and I are the best of friends now)

2001

Nearly lost my mind to anxiety and depression. Learned a lot of things about my weaknesses and my inner demons.

SXSW again.

Amanda W and The Kollers became some of my favorite people I have ever met at SXSW. (still friends today)

Met and dated Linda S and Stephanie B. (still friends with both)

Went to Maui on the company dime…

9/11

Left AT&T Wireless and went to T-Mobile.

After years of people pleading and begging, I dressed up as “The Cheerleader Guy” from SNL. Crowds cheered, people wept.

Unknown to me, met a Miss Tami Stout (who became a friend later) over promises of baked ziti.

XBOX and Halo.

The two Rhondas. (never knew a Rhonda before, but dated two in the same month.. Who knew!)

Found Maggie a knew home. (sad, but had to be done)

2002 (one of my favorite years in Austin)

The 33 and a third birthday celebration. Thank god I took pictures. Two words - Bucket drink -

One of the most fun times at a SXSW ever. More so due to the baked ziti story sweeping over SXSW volunteers.

Worked on the Sunshine Kids boat day for the first time.

Deanna, Sara, and Kate. All have special places in my heart.

This year was so much fun it was a blur.

My first ACL fest.

Sushi and I become close friends! (I love sushi now!)

2003

Left T-Mobile to work for SXSW full time. This lasted 4 months.

Flugtag (Thanks for the hook up in VIP Red Bull)

Barton Springs.

Got my current dog Mollie.

Met and dated Jennah D. We don’t speak.

Enjoyed 6 months of unemployment. (Thanks SXSW! I had a blast that summer!)

Worked with Sunshine Kids again.

Started at The Cheesecake Factory. Again. (Worked for them before I moved to Austin in 1996)

Dated Kim H. We also don’t speak.

The O.C.

ACL fest again.

2004

Went to my first SXSW as a partial ‘civilian’.

Red Bull House. This was also a life changer.

The “Joan Jett incident”. Let’s just say a not so fun scene infront of 2000 people with an ex. “I love Rock and Roll” was not the best soundtrack for that one.

Never play tour guide to a New Zealand stunt woman. (Zoe Bell) Also never try to go drink for drink with one.

The summer of Foundation, tubing, and Shannalita.

Parties at the Hilton.

ACL fest again.

MySpace. Enough said.

2005

I purchased my first laptop. And a Sony PSP. And an iPod.

Started Revolving Events event planning.

Helped coordinate Red Bull House 2005.

Jinny Carder’s “Envy birthday party”.

The Club DeVille patio.

My 36^th birthday aka “Napoleon Dynamite Prom”

LOST.

ACL fest again.

Molly, Laurie, Fez, and a lot of Lonestar.

2006

My first CAT scan. (Damn door!)

Coordinated Red Bull House 2006

Coordinated Red Bull Music Labs Houston

My first Tablet PC. (oh how I love thee)

Renewed my lease for a 10^th time.

There is so much that has happened that it is so hard to even come close to describing everything. But here’s to you Austin. I like to think I help ‘keep Austin weird’!!

Talk is cheap...

I am referring to when it comes to putting your money where your mouth is. It is kind of funny reading other blogs and all there is to it is whining. (Not all, some just are really enveloped in self pity)

If you don't like your life, make some changes. Stop waiting for your destiny to be handed to you. And get a clue. Just one.

It's time for some content...

I really have not had a post with some real content in awhile. Life has been pretty busy, and also for the last couple months, drama free. It's funny when you have changes in your life where people come in and out, and you can see after they have left the effect they had on you.

Everyone knows the people that claim to be drama-free yet always are immersed in it. I tend to gravitate towards these individuals and I add fuel to the fire. Hey, does make for some interesting blogs, so maybe without them it could explain my lackluster performance in postings of recent. But, it has been nice not being around the negative or self-destructive. Or crazy. Did I mention it is incredibly wonderful not to be around crazy? But, life is a lot of fun when you have a crazy in it. Oh the stories! (hmm, maybe people keep me around for the crazy... I will have to think about this...)

A couple of interesting highlights. Event planning is going in a direction I want it to. Also, I have met some pretty interesting 'scene' people who really redefine hipster in a good way. Austin is wonderful in the way that you could literally be 3 or 4 degrees from anyone. You never know who you can be talking to or who they may know.

Also I know a supermom that just got a modeling gig. I was so happy and proud of her. She keeps a wonderful attitude about so many things. I think she would be amazing on a show like The Apprentice where they put book and street smarts against eachother. She would have EVERYONE eating out of her hand by the end of it.

It is getting really hot again. Who knew that summer would be upon us again so soon. Time for Barton Springs, Movies in the Park, and tubing!

Thomas & Le Popov (Factory People) and myself after a couple libations at PLUSH.

What a wild few days I have had. Last night was an afterparty with She Wants Revenge and OK GO. Those guys sounded awesome at the show and were a lot of fun at PLUSH. (Adam from She Wants Revenge is pictured above) Friday was Cinco de Mayo and birthday celebrations. This week we have movies in the park and more!

And in other news...

I had a really fun weekend. Awesome DJ sets... Way to much Crown and Grey Goose. A lot of Sharpie action...

But an awesome moment was VOXTROT at Emo's.. Maiken and crew were there and it was a blast!

Oh, and a shout out to Gabby & Camille and the Super Juice cocktail!!! You changed my entire night!!

So what have I...

What have I been doing lately. A lot. Right now I am relaxing after a long weekend infront of my taxes. I don't have a problem with taxes, just it takes me awhile to make sure its done right. Also I have a proposal to work on. It is actually an exciting event. Looking forward to it.

I did watch Inside Man at the good ol' Alamo Drafthouse. Good flick. Well, predictable. Ok, it was ok.. But the opening/closing song rocked. It was an Indian dance track.

Oh, did I mention the stupid thing I did whilst I was in Houston? When I was getting money out of the ATM, I left my card in the machine. It was captured by Mr. Automated Teller. Still waiting for the replacement. I was really used to having that card.

I have also determined that Austin has spoiled me something ridiculous. WiFi everywhere. Houston, getting there, but I was suprised that I went to Einstein's in Houston and could not connect.

Busy week ahead. Actually a busy month. A lot of changes about to happen.

I love this t-shirt!!! It completely sums up MySpace!!!

I love sushi.. This place called AZUMA in Houston was amazing...

Flying back to Austin from Houston I saw this out the window...

I got the completed project in my hand. A lot of talent from a lot of people made this happen. Especially the 10 producers who worked hard for 5 days to make a song.

This was huge. I had the opportunity to meet Andy Rourke from The Smiths. This has been one hell of a week.

Time time time...

I have Hazy Shade of Winter running through my head right now. (The Bangles version) I have been in Houston for a few days now. My nights have been endind at a bar in Rice Village called The Bronx Bar. Good times. The trip started off a little apprehensive due to a sprained ankle, but all said and done, it has been an amazing experience.

The project I am working on has been a lot of fun. Check this out... And anyone in Houston, give me a shout and I will tell you about this Sunday's closing party.

It's been awhile...

Wow. Is March nearly over? Well the event went well. Extremely well. I leave for another event soon. But I worked with so many amazing people that I cannot even begin to say how lucky I was to be on the same team.

In other news...

I lost a friend of mine to a jealous ex-boyfriend. Her wake was hard for many of her closest, and it tore me up to see her and her friends. I will miss her loving smile and optimism forever.

I will post more soon, and pictures by the dozens, but trust that I will do so when I can.

A split second...

It's go time. The event is going superb. On track, and looking to blow everyone away. I can't wait to get for everyone to see the efforts of the entire team. It is going to rock.

What a week...

Busy. Super Busy.

So far this week.... Sunday was easy with a short day of work and fun with a friend doing a margarita crawl. Monday. BAM. Up at 6am, work on computer, left for work, came back to computer. Went to El Arroyo to chill and work and talk to the owner, who has some pretty funny stories, and a lot of them. Went to bed at 1am, up at 5am Tuesday, at airport at 6:30am. In Houston 9:15 am.

Meetings till 3pm. Purchased $4000 of IKEA for an event over the 5.5 hours of shopping in the nordic land of bargains with the person in charge of the event. Ate a great dinner at Outback and drove back to Austin. In bed 1:30am.

Up 7:30 am. Walked dog, did laundry, met friend for breakfast, showered, and was out the door by 10:15am this morning. On site by 11:00am.

Did event related planning till 6pm. Stopped by the charred remains of a bar on sixth st since it burned and damaged someones bar next door that I knew. Home 8pm. Walked dog and watched lost. Back to work 9pm.

Having a blast doing it all. I decided to finish the night with a Lonestar and a blog. Up 7:30am tomorrow.

Someone call me and get me to have a happy hour... I need one...

The winning margarita.

As you can see by the scorecard, we did a North Side Margarita crawl. Trudy's wins by score.... But honestly, after having all of them, El Arroyo was my favorite. Leia and I had a blast doing the tastings! We then went downtown, where things well, got a little crazy... Damn you Mugshots!!

Cab 193 = 3 squads cars, $8, and a headache...

So I decided I needed to chill and get a nice Crown on the rocks. I call a cab, and head to Dallas Nightclub. What happends next is unexpected...

I get picked up and we head out. At the intersection of Far West and Wood Hollow, I ask him to make a right turn, and get on MOPAC. He declines. I repeat this as it is how I want to go. He again declines, but states, 'We are going this way, and it's my cab...'

Now if you know me at all you know this isn't sitting well. And you would be proud of me. I only said 'Stop the cab, I will have Yellow Cab handle this..' We stop. Two blocks from my complex.

His retort.. To pay him $3 or he will kick the shit out of me. I find this humorous.. But, it is a threat and for all I know he has a gun under the front seat. Before I have the chance to laugh, he repeats the threat. Not so funny now.

9-1-1... Fire, EMS or Police... I explain, all the while he is yelling 'It's all lies.. He is a liar!!'

He takes off with me in the cab. I am in my still fnding this humorous stage, remark 'Well, he is driving now, I guess I am being kidnapped...' The 911 operator instructs me to tell the driver to stop immediately with the line open. He finally stops a moment later, when he decides too.

We wait for a bit.. I wait as Mr. Psycho calls dispatch. He gets mad when dispatch reminds him that he needs to take me the route I ask... But, things get worse.

Police are on their way to us now. But, we are on the move. He verbalizes more threats. I am on the phone with 911 again, this time a bit nervous, as this guy is acting crazy. We end up at my destination. The police arrive, but not until he threatens again, this time on 911 recording.

1 officer arrives. We talk. 2 more arrive. They pull him off to the side. I chat with the officers some. It gets ridiculous with cabby 193 freaking out. I decide to make it easy and not press charges, as it was my option. I pay the cab driver $8, which is the normal fee for MY ROUTE to just finally end it. I chat with the officers a bit and apologize for wasting their time. They laugh it off and say it was probably what needed to be done. Still, a waste of time. Mine, theirs, 193's. All he had to do was make a right turn. He told me where I was going and I told him back. And look how it ended up. Hindsight make me wish I would have just let him drive his way... And then reported him.

More than likely I will get the money back from Yellow Cab. Just be warned... Cabby 193 is a bit nuts..

Unexpectedly random thoughts....

A lot of suprises lately. Mostly good for me, not so much for some others I know. I did have a breakthrough today. The Hoffbrau Steak place on 6th st really isn't for me. The 10 yrs of driving past it was for a reason. Not dogging it, but, it wasn't for me.

Also, it is darn cold outside. It really is.. The fog last night was out of this world.. I couldn't see infront of me...

Linda is in Austin for a spell. Hopefully will see her soon. I was smiling when she sent the email a couple weeks ago with the news for hours...

And Becca is in from Denver for a night... That makes me smile too.

And two bands that are making my ears happy. Cut Copy and Boy Kill Boy. Check them out.

I will have more news on some other items soo. Stay tuned.

R0cket Science...

The other day I was really exhausted. Didn't think too much about things as I did the laundry. I guess that was why I wasn't too suprised to find my cell phone in the washer. I guessI can kiss that job at NASA goodbye...

Mixed emotions...

I went to H.E.B. last night for some cake. I needed some cake. It was a long day. Cake makes the day better. So when I stroll up to my local grocer, there is an incoherent individual laying on the ground with a backpack with a sign saying "Tavelling. Very Hungry." My dog of couse goes right up to him and starts licking his face and he kinds falls back and starts making groaning noises, but while laughing. As this slightly spooked me, dog and I walked off and I tied her off and went in.

When I came out he was still there. One of the managers was asking him to move on as he was blocking the entrance laying on the ground but he really wasn't holding any faculties to be able to.

I was on my way home and I saw two police cars searching the shopping center parking lot. I asked them who they were looking for. It was the same guy, as he had been causing problems at other businesses in the area...

So he was picked up and removed. To where I have no idea.. The city of Austin recently passed a law that prevented the homeless from sleeping downtown. I live in a very established part of town and the downtown popluation has moved into our neighborhood. There are 2 small 'shanty towns' that have sprung up since the ordinance passed. I have heard sories of people finding homeless sleeping on their property from startled renters and owners.

But is it ok to brush these people off due to their circumstances? Is that what we did with Katrina? No one wants to be called cold or callous, and it is easy to point the finger at someone else to do the work. Is that what our United States of America has become? We all banded together to help the victims of 9/11. I saw an interview of one of the wives of someone whose life was cut short in the World Trade Center days after the tragedy. She was in her very large home, very upset, lost her husband, and she was very worried about losing her home and her children's lifestyle changing.

And we jumped at the chance to help her. Not everyone was set as she was that lost loved ones. We all did our duty.

But not for Katrina. We turned the other way and let the government speak for us. We just didn't like what we had to say. No we are punishing others for what most felt. Apathy.

Which brings me back to last night. Maybe it is our fear of the homeless. Of the certain individuals that we do not understand why they are in the situation they are in. Maybe we hate them for bothering us in our lives... We all hear stories of someone being mugged or attacked by someone who is homeless. But we hear those stories about every type of person out there.

Not sure where I fall into all this. All I know is last night made me laugh for a moment then I felt sick, sad, frustrated, and angry.

But does what I feel matter if I don't do anything? Maybe I am waiting for someone else to speak for me again...

Also, don't take this as my judging any person on their view on this.. I have had the same views that I expressed here. Which leaves myself with mixed emotions...

I about melted...

My dog knows shake now. And she is doing it to get my attention.. It is like she is waving at me.

I love my dog...

OUCH...

Well, I feel like someone stabbed me with an ice pick. Right in the eyebrow. I have started having an un-natural fear of doors. (kidding.. well.. yeah.. um.. kidding...) I am just glad I stopped the nurse from stabbing me with her needle of torture in my left arm as I am left handed..

I want a beer so bad.. But, no alcohol for a few days. Hell, I feel so dizzy and unfocused that I really dont need one.. But it would feel so good on my lips.

And the US Team is not really scoring well on this ski run I am watching. Something about new skis or something..

Ok, so I went to work tonight, and who knew how it would turn out. I was getting something out of a storage closet, and BAM. Door. Door meets eyebrow. As I slide down the door and laid there, I knew I did a number on myself. Blood coming down the eye.. Swelling closing my eye. Ay yay yay...

I tried to make the best of it. Cleaned out the wound... Washed up.. It did not last too long. Nausea, and that feeling you get when the dentist puts you on the gas, and one hell of an 'ice cream headache' took its toll.

So I went to the ER. They were on the way to fast tracking me out, clean the wound, tetanus shot, and an aspirin. But, as were were discussing what happened, they put me in an exam room, and the fast track turned into almost 3 hours of waiting, tests, and loopiness.

I had my first cat scan. Weird. I almost threw up due to the vertigo. I was already having that monwalk feeling and then to have my head locked in as I was jerked back and forth into some donut spinning around me. I was suprised that nothing was wrong with my brain... (I think many would argue that machine must have been malfunctioning.. lol)

So during all this they gave me a vicadin. There is a reason I am not one who does drugs. Hell, cold medicine messes with me. They wouldn't let me leave until they saw my ride arrive.

What the nurse or myself didn't know was that my ride had enjoyed the Saturday eveing to the fullest. Well, at least my friend was smart enough to have a sober friend of hers drive.

So I finally got home.. Had some food.. Then I looked at my injury that caused such a pain.. The swelling is going down so much it looks almost normal. The gash has closed and is now just a small cut.

Much ado about nothing... I'll take it.. I got a lot to do this week.

It must be Friday...

I love this cold weather. So I am spending most of this evening with Mr. Toshiba, who brought his friend Mr Microsoft Office, and lots and lots of coffee.

Who knew budgets, supply lists, and scheduling could be this fun. I have been at it for over 3 hours and have barely scratched the surface of my to do list. I am going for one more hour at least, then put Mr Toshiba and co to sleep and destress. (aka have an adult beverage)

Ok, back to work...

Be careful what you wish for...

I asked someone the other day what they thought of me. Well, I definately have my answer to that question. The unfortunate part is that it is the things I hate about myself is what they know me as.

I could try to deny or justify who or what I have become. Blame it on a childhood or family issues. What good would that be? It still manages to raise its ugly head around people I know and care about.

But what does one do when they have become the person they did not want to be growing up? Too bad I can't take myself to some upgrade center and have things removed and improved things added. I have fulfilled my own wicked destiny.

I have heard may theories on this. It was past relationships. It was growing up in an alcoholic family. But once you know how you act, is it not your responsibilty to change these things?

I have lost much in my life due to the choices I make. It always comes down to the same things. But where does one finally say enough and step up to the plate and get it done?

Add that to my many flaws of character. I have the bell to put on the cat, but I am too afraid to do it myself. Or just too set in my ways. Maybe I am too afraid of change. Maybe I am a coward and cannot stand up to my inner demons.

Or maybe I am as weak inside as I fear I really am. And I take out my deepest innermost fears and project them onto people I care about as I am to selfish to work on them myself.

I think it is time for me to 'disappear' for awhile. It is time for me to finally take charge of my weaknesses. I am no good to anyone until I do....

Men and women are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Now I have never seen that before...

I went out with my friend Laurie for some drinks last night. She seemed a bit off center as we bounced from place to place. She never found her drinking 'chi'... We would be at one bar and it would be too chill, couldn't go somewhere else as it wasn't chill enough. It was kinda like being with Goldilocks.. But we all have those nights where you seem to be forcing yourself on a good time.



But moments can be had... Laurie was sitting with friends from Hills Cafe and she needed to use the restroom. Well, the door was blocked as apparently some woman was having sex with a guy she just met. The woman's boyfriend came over and asked Laurie to check on her in the bathroom. As the door was blocked, nothing could be done at the time.. But then they emerged from there and boyfriend weilds a knife and starts swinging it around. No one was hurt, but drunk girl wandered off and Laurie got a nice motorcycle helmet out of the deal.



But this was the moment that made the night worth while. I was sitting at the bar watching Sportscenter when two guys did the whole buttercup scene from "The Three Amigos' with lyrics AND choreography. This was simply amazing. The bar stopped in its tracks for 3 minutes.



And finally made the Loo smile...

What am I doing???

Yesterday was a long day. The day before, even longer. I was sitting with a friend the other night after going to see Spoon. We talked about some situations of her's that have made life a bit complex for herself. As she was talking to me I could not help thinking about the compromises we make to try to find what we want. Those compromises then force us to make concessions and so forth causing a never ending cycle. Before it is realized we lost what was sought after as it has been damaged in our journey to achieve it.

What are we willing to sacrifice in our quests? I can't even count how many bad decisions I have made in my life. But perhaps not the bad decisions I regret as much as making no decisions. That is what has scared me of recent.

But what now? Is the problem realized? What path should be taken? Can I take the reigns of my personal life and make things happen? Do I really want to?

That sounds like a decision that needs to be made...

Can't sleep...

It has been a pretty busy week. CSBG, Connect Four, dog parks, Sandy's Custard... Spoon with Molly tonight. Meetings tomorrow. I will need a vacation soon. But I need sleep now. I think I will give it another go....