Last night I saw a movie that is still with me right now, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It really made me think about past relationships and memories of places and people. The writing and dialougue really intrigued me. I was asked to wonder after watching the movie if the theory of there being one person for everyone could be true. Don't have that answer, but maybe the fact that its the pursuit of that theory as why I enjoy movies like this. After seeing this it made me think of special moments that I had with several people. Knowing the outcomes would you do it again? Absofuckinglutely.

I guess this is why I love the 80's so much.. John Hughes movies especially.. Dating is such a confusing place.. Highs.. Lows.. But sometimes you find hidden gems, even if its not meant to be.. I have such a flair for the dramatic.. I am always wondering the how and why and what... But a hidden gem I found.. Sometimes you need to meet someone for whatever reason, if not just to enjoy their company and laugh.

One thing I forget sometimes is that friendships outlast every relationship I have ever had.. We risk them sometimes for trying to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but if you can get past it, it can be something spectacular. I recently got caught in that moment.. This person truly amazes me. She tells a story and you feel you are in it. I sat next to her at a show and saw how much she really enjoyed something. Around her I laugh and that is what I have missed most about myself in the longest time. I am making a promise to myself that I need to remember this.. That is what is important..

We all remember having feelings for someone who made us feel good about ourselves.. I have dated a couple spectacular women who really made me happy. But, where are they now.. Matthew Sweet wrote a song titled Nothing Lasts.. A very pessimistic view, but how many of us can say at this point in our lives that we've had a relationship that hadn't ended..

Who knows what can happen with people we meet.. Is it fair to anyone to 'pigeon hole' them to what we wish them to be? I could use those thoughts about the caged bird or grabbing at sand, but you understand.. At least, I hope you do.. I am trying, real hard to be the Shepard..